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ucla

i was accepted into the Cultural Studies in Education Ph.D. at ucla. that's very good, i wish it wasn't expensive. one of my professors suggested i have a phobia about money. because i am not happy about taking out tens of thousands of dollars to pay for this. because -- and here's the crazy part -- i could get a Ph.D. at a less prestigious university and actually MAKE money on the proposition. i don't know. ucla, it's going to be hell the first year. they charge an extra 14000 per year just because i'm out of state. this is only the first year, i'll get residency after that. but still. 14000? that's what my entire master's degree cost. i'm just afraid of getting ripped off. and afraid of being in debt. i don't like owing anything to anyone. i owe lots to my family and friends, of course. but in a non-monetary way. that's best, because money causes sadness and strife.
so i wish i could avoid it, and i wish ucla would jsut pay for everything. but supposedly they're the 2nd best college of education in america. my professor says i'd be crazy to pass it up. either way, i can admit: i am afraid. that doesn't make me a wuss, it makes me sane. why would someone want to go into debt 30 thousand dollars? there's gotta be a better way.

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